Making the first move

You see him everyday. You know each other by sight but have never spoken to each other? Should you break the ice?

As a girl, we've always been told to let the guys make the first move. If we approach him, he'll just think we are desperate.

Is that really true? Maybe he never did talk to you because he's shy, he is quiet or he is afraid of rejection himself. If that is the case, he'd be grateful if you break the ice. What's wrong with making new friends?

Don't be too pushy though. Don't try fluttering your eyelashes or pulling down your blouse to reveal your bosom. Now THAT is desperate.

Relax. View him as another person who might be a friend. When you see him, just say "Hi". Strike up a conversation. If he snubs you, then he is probably a snob not worth knowing. Chances are that you may make a new friend. If you really fancy him, don't be too obvious. But don't cover up by calling him 'brother'. You may imply that anything beyond friendship is out of bounds. Just be friends and let nature take its course. If he develops feelings from you, he'll make the move eventually.

I was bolder. I was trying to gather a large enough group of friends for an outing. I saw him in church. I thought he knew some of the people in the group and asked him to join us. He agreed. It was a fun outing for the whole group. Now, we are married, with kids.

If you don't even know where the single guys are, instead of hanging out at a bar (you might meet some nut cases there), try this search engine.

From his photo and what he says about himself, you'll be able to see what he looks like and roughly gauge his personality. If you think he'd make a great friend, then contact him. If you are too shy, why not get a few girl friends together, pick a few guys you think would fit in, and arrange a group date. It is a lot less intimidating that way.

Have Fun. And Good Luck.

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